‘The pain of love is the pain of being alive; it is the perpetual wound’
I don’t remember when I heard of Maureen Duffy for the first time, even her name doesn’t register much, her times and work mean nothing to me, but this statement has remained engraved in me somewhere and peeps out with a smile, whenever I see some random movie with grief marking a character, with the old “I had told you so” smug look. You think it’s crazy that I imagine about words smiling and jeering, poking and pestering, please don’t, I am normal with some loony fascination with books and movies. But this blog is not about Maureen Duffy or “The words”, Sartre or otherwise, this blog is about grief and how movies have showcased this singular emotion in movie after movie, across time, space and language.
Grief is a potent weapon, an all-powerful one, with the power to decimate the million of opposition ahead, the power to annihilate the all-exhuming soul of one, the power to eradicate humanity as a whole. I remember watching a frail old woman spewing venom, literally spitting on the soldiers who had killed her son, destroyed her land, and made her desolate. But as promised, am not presenting an essay on grief, its about some of the movies which try to address the issue, not that it provides a solution, there cannot be any, but it shows people suffer from grief and their personal salvation and redemption.
Now that my resolve is made, my fingers dirtied, eyes twitching, brains (check the plural) racing, my mind is giving up. Coming so far I realize, I am without a structure, without any ideas of narration, without content and the more I think I am getting scared of the brick bats. Grief because of bereavement in itself can fill books, how on the earth, can I stop describing the tears of a mother who has just lost her teenaged child just because my self-imposed thousand word restriction is over. How different is this loss from that of an unmarried mother who had an abortion and is watching her four months fetus through a six inch thick glass vessel. The dead fetus, unmindful of her mother’s stare, swimming in the smelly formaldehyde, mistaking it for the womb that it was swimming in before, may have a different story altogether. If I can write about the story of that unwanted fetus, I would find myself in a completely different world linked just by the river of grief.
But this is a story I wish to tell; maybe this has to be in multiple parts covering the various types and movies that can soothe the abrasion and bring peace. Movies do have that alleviating effect; making you a voyeuristic stranger, letting you peep into the lives of others, create an impression of the omnipotent and omniscient god that we so long to become. I just hope these selections of movies help some random reader in coming to terms with their own individual ghost.
I have a self-imposed limit that I diligently follow, mostly unsuccessfully. So maybe it will be one movie in this first part and the following parts will cover all the types of grief, from bereavement to the empty nest syndrome, from trauma to the much-trivialized break ups. In accordance to my restriction, maybe will just review this one movie that is an amalgamation of all emotions fused together by a master craftsman who sadly is no more. And it is he, the Krzysztof Kieślowski that I dedicate this blog to, the man who maybe understood pain.
Part 2: Review of Movie Dekalog
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Friday, May 02, 2008
Despair and the Refrigerator
(This blog has been published before as a winning review in the "dearcinema" site, link :http://dearcinema.com/requiem-for-a-dream-despair-and-the-refrigerator/)
Author's Note: I don’t write many reviews but sometimes when you shaken to the core, you need to write. This post is about the magnificent "Requiem for a dream".
It was inevitable, the refrigerator will always remind me of the terrors of drug abuse but then I am not complaining. Narcotics remain one of the most abusive scare that is galling human society today and it was an honorable effort from Aronofsky, with the Russian name and the Brooklyn background, to portray the desperation and simple ambitions gone wrong of the characters first created by the incomparable Herbert Selby of the ‘Last exit to Brooklyn’ fame. Selby is known to paint a bleak picture of desperation with the characters wanting the simple pleasures of life, sometimes to look thinner, sometimes to be appreciated. A little dream of a little house filled with pleasures and a picture of happiness around. Nothing that is unattainable right but then in Selby’s world the small dreams turn into a nightmare before even they ripen and a requiem is written before even they have their five minutes of happiness. But me, branding it depressing and demoralizing and absolutely disturbing, doesn’t stop me from absolutely idolizing it and this movie generally marches into my list of the top ten movies with its sad requiem played all over.
I cannot speak enough about the movie and the plot. The plot is simplistic with four main protagonists each having their small sweet desires sugarcoated with niggling ambitions but then as in life nothing turns up as expected. An old mother, Sara, played brilliantly by the amazing Ellen Burstyn, residing in downtown Brooklyn spends all the time in front of the television or sunning in front of the old dilapidated building with the other old ladies. Her only ambition is to be able to fit into the old red dress that she wore for her son’s graduation and appear in a television program that she obsesses over. The son, Harry played by Jared Letto, wants to open a boutique with his designer girlfriend Marion (the beautiful Jennifer Connelly). To get the money and partly satisfy his and his friends’ heroin addiction, he enters into a drug dealership with Tyrone (Marlon Wayans). Sara starts taking prescription drugs from a seedy doctor to get thinner and fit into the red dress. As summer transcends into fall, their condition starts becoming precarious and they descend further into gloom and despair. The movie spans across winter and our main protagonists have become hopeless in their desperate attempts to redeem themselves. Without spoiling your watch by going into further details, I will leave you guys here with the story and digress to the cast and the crew.
The actors are simply brilliant, no two thoughts about that. Ellen Burstyn, who has won the academy awards, acting in Scorsese’s ‘Alice doesn’t live here any more’ is brilliant as Sara the neurotic but loving mother who dreams of her son getting a good job and settling down with some beautiful girl. Jared Letto and Marlon Wayans are great with their restrain and controlled performances, sometimes high on drugs, some other times down with life. But I have to speak for Jennifer Connelly, she is brilliant as the sweet girl dreaming of a happy family but with her life culminating as a prostitute pimping her body and aspirations for dirty old men for a little heroin and some dollars.
Darren Aronofsky is brilliant, one of the greatest young directors working in Hollywood. His brilliance is stamped all over the film. The narration is crisp and keeps one engaged, the camera is voyeuristic and follows the protagonists around with short shots, the mood is somber and he keeps up the despair and by the end it becomes so strong that you can literally touch it with your heart. The editing is simply mind-blowing, I have never seen a better-edited movie and I fail to understand why it was overlooked for a nomination. The sequence towards the end, in which all the four protagonists’ life run interweaved with the devilish soul stirring music piece, is the best intense moment that I have ever seen and its etched in my mind for a long, long time I think. This brings me to the music and I cannot but adulate Clint Mansell for the immortal music that he has provided.
I can go on and on about the little scenes strewn all over that affected me, and anyone who has seen this movie. Remember the scene with Sara and the refrigerator where she hallucinates that the refrigerator is moving forward to eat her and then the walls of her house tumble down with the actors of the television including herself, who she imagines being on TV take over and jeer her for being fat. I was touched by that scene when she mumbles, “Am an old woman” and at the fact that she was jeering herself for being miserable. Then there was the terrifying scream of Marion inside the bathtub with bubbles floating around. I even found the opening sequence funny, Tyron and Harry dragging the television to the used store and selling it for some easy money. But the last twenty minutes take the cake, they disturb the mind to the core and the intensity of the visuals are enough to leave you in a state of suspended animation and wide disbelief for days to come.
One of my friends, who was a regular user of marijuana stopped smoking on seeing the movie and another called me at four AM in the morning complaining of sleepless nights. That’s what a good movie can do to you; make you think about it forever. For anyone who wasn’t watched the movie please do watch it, There can be nothing better than being shaken to the core, once, every time.
Rating: 10/10
Advices if watching on DVD:
· Watch it preferably in the night just before you sleep in a closed room and ALONE.
· Please Watch it one sitting and without telephone or anything else bothering you.
Author's Note: I don’t write many reviews but sometimes when you shaken to the core, you need to write. This post is about the magnificent "Requiem for a dream".
It was inevitable, the refrigerator will always remind me of the terrors of drug abuse but then I am not complaining. Narcotics remain one of the most abusive scare that is galling human society today and it was an honorable effort from Aronofsky, with the Russian name and the Brooklyn background, to portray the desperation and simple ambitions gone wrong of the characters first created by the incomparable Herbert Selby of the ‘Last exit to Brooklyn’ fame. Selby is known to paint a bleak picture of desperation with the characters wanting the simple pleasures of life, sometimes to look thinner, sometimes to be appreciated. A little dream of a little house filled with pleasures and a picture of happiness around. Nothing that is unattainable right but then in Selby’s world the small dreams turn into a nightmare before even they ripen and a requiem is written before even they have their five minutes of happiness. But me, branding it depressing and demoralizing and absolutely disturbing, doesn’t stop me from absolutely idolizing it and this movie generally marches into my list of the top ten movies with its sad requiem played all over.
I cannot speak enough about the movie and the plot. The plot is simplistic with four main protagonists each having their small sweet desires sugarcoated with niggling ambitions but then as in life nothing turns up as expected. An old mother, Sara, played brilliantly by the amazing Ellen Burstyn, residing in downtown Brooklyn spends all the time in front of the television or sunning in front of the old dilapidated building with the other old ladies. Her only ambition is to be able to fit into the old red dress that she wore for her son’s graduation and appear in a television program that she obsesses over. The son, Harry played by Jared Letto, wants to open a boutique with his designer girlfriend Marion (the beautiful Jennifer Connelly). To get the money and partly satisfy his and his friends’ heroin addiction, he enters into a drug dealership with Tyrone (Marlon Wayans). Sara starts taking prescription drugs from a seedy doctor to get thinner and fit into the red dress. As summer transcends into fall, their condition starts becoming precarious and they descend further into gloom and despair. The movie spans across winter and our main protagonists have become hopeless in their desperate attempts to redeem themselves. Without spoiling your watch by going into further details, I will leave you guys here with the story and digress to the cast and the crew.
The actors are simply brilliant, no two thoughts about that. Ellen Burstyn, who has won the academy awards, acting in Scorsese’s ‘Alice doesn’t live here any more’ is brilliant as Sara the neurotic but loving mother who dreams of her son getting a good job and settling down with some beautiful girl. Jared Letto and Marlon Wayans are great with their restrain and controlled performances, sometimes high on drugs, some other times down with life. But I have to speak for Jennifer Connelly, she is brilliant as the sweet girl dreaming of a happy family but with her life culminating as a prostitute pimping her body and aspirations for dirty old men for a little heroin and some dollars.
Darren Aronofsky is brilliant, one of the greatest young directors working in Hollywood. His brilliance is stamped all over the film. The narration is crisp and keeps one engaged, the camera is voyeuristic and follows the protagonists around with short shots, the mood is somber and he keeps up the despair and by the end it becomes so strong that you can literally touch it with your heart. The editing is simply mind-blowing, I have never seen a better-edited movie and I fail to understand why it was overlooked for a nomination. The sequence towards the end, in which all the four protagonists’ life run interweaved with the devilish soul stirring music piece, is the best intense moment that I have ever seen and its etched in my mind for a long, long time I think. This brings me to the music and I cannot but adulate Clint Mansell for the immortal music that he has provided.
I can go on and on about the little scenes strewn all over that affected me, and anyone who has seen this movie. Remember the scene with Sara and the refrigerator where she hallucinates that the refrigerator is moving forward to eat her and then the walls of her house tumble down with the actors of the television including herself, who she imagines being on TV take over and jeer her for being fat. I was touched by that scene when she mumbles, “Am an old woman” and at the fact that she was jeering herself for being miserable. Then there was the terrifying scream of Marion inside the bathtub with bubbles floating around. I even found the opening sequence funny, Tyron and Harry dragging the television to the used store and selling it for some easy money. But the last twenty minutes take the cake, they disturb the mind to the core and the intensity of the visuals are enough to leave you in a state of suspended animation and wide disbelief for days to come.
One of my friends, who was a regular user of marijuana stopped smoking on seeing the movie and another called me at four AM in the morning complaining of sleepless nights. That’s what a good movie can do to you; make you think about it forever. For anyone who wasn’t watched the movie please do watch it, There can be nothing better than being shaken to the core, once, every time.
Rating: 10/10
Advices if watching on DVD:
· Watch it preferably in the night just before you sleep in a closed room and ALONE.
· Please Watch it one sitting and without telephone or anything else bothering you.
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Ballad from Nischindpur:
Have you ever looked at a painting and become suddenly happy, Have you ever felt the mad rushes of some tiny molecules gush away from various parts of the body that you had learnt to identify in your long forgotten biology classes and flood your heart with a kind of happiness and pleasure that can only be experienced and never dared described? Remember those lines from American Beauty, where Rickey describes the white carry-bag floating in air and ends his monologue by saying “ Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.” That’s what I echoed on seeing the wonderful Pather Panchali by the master craftsman, Satyajit Ray. I had read BibhutiBhushan Bandopadhya’s book of the same name not too long before I had seen the movie and had been pleasantly amazed and touched by the innocence of the characters and deeply moved by the heart rendering rustic surroundings that was the keystone around which the story revolved. Having said this, Let me also say that all the beauty in that book hadn’t prepared me enough for the beauty that the movie hurled at me and I was left gaping at the screen with a happy goofy smile smacked across my face and with my hands holding my heart in sheer happiness. Seems ludicrous isn’t it, but then Pather Panchali is a movie which you just have to see to be a fan of.
Pather Panchali is a director’s movie, where the visuals of the countryside with the meandering roads and the lush fields, the calm waters of the village pond and the disturbing loud chug of the distant train creates an atmosphere which reassures the viewer of the greatness of the director with each of its frame. The movie, like the other Italian neo-realist movies of that time uses non-actors as the main protagonists and portrays the common placed miseries and the little aspirations and desires of people whom we may have come across but never turned and looked when they passed by. Satyajit Ray with his sensitivities which no doubt would have made Tagore proud, captures just that, villagers toiling hard to make the ends meet without loosing hope, stricken with poverty but remaining honest, hungry yet remaining proud. The visuals are enchanting and the music like the flowing river and blowing wind make you sway with them in a pace that’s leisurely racy.
The story is minimalist about a poor Brahmin family in a far off village lost somewhere in the desolate lands of the poverty stricken countryside of Bengal. The head of the family, a middle-aged man named Harihar Ray played by a theater actor named Kanu Banerjee is astounding as a poor man but always hopeful for good things to happen in life. He dreams of being a writer, writing play and dance dramas (palas, a concept which sadly is now obsolete). Karuna Banerjee, who was the director’s friend and had never acted before, plays Harihar’s wife Sarbojaya. She is the perfect housewife with little dreams for her husband, for her daughter and her little son. Like she says in the kitchen, “we will have food twice a day, Durga will get married, Apu will grow up and have a job, what else is required” and to this Harihar answers, “Hobe, Hobe” (It will happen with God’s grace). This scene, with the innocence of the characters and the plight of the people, totally moved me; the important thing being, these people were not portrayed as heroes but as pawns in the hands of fate battling poverty, fighting an war which may have been already lost but still not loosing hope and their head.
Apu (Subir Banerjee) and Durga (Uma Dasgupta) are their children and they are the ones who steal the show with their innocent acting portraying sometimes desire, sometimes an understanding that maybe is the result of their poverty. Durga as a character is amazing, she steals fruits from the near by orchard, which once had belonged to their family, and gives it to her grand aunt, an wizened old woman, who though is ninety and an widow loves the good things in life, a little more chilly, some more salt. She loves her kid brother Apu and acts as a sister, mother and friend and all rolled into one. Apu the central character of the story is a young boy of eight who is a wide-eyed sensitive kid and a favorite of his mother and sister alike. He waits near the door waiting for the sweet-vendor to pass by, and looks longingly at it when he does. This now brings me to Indrin Thakur, an old lady of around eighty years old, played by Chunibala who marvels with her performance. It is surprising to note that, she was found by Satyajit Ray near a brothel, where she was living as a destitute after having been a theater artist long time back. She with her ease and effortless acting is the best thing in the movie and brings her character to life. Her reciting “Hari, take me to the other world” and narrating the ghost stories to the children remain the high points and the sequences I will always carry with me.
Any review of this movie without mentioning the fabulous cinematography and the amazing art direction is seer blasphemy. The cinematography by the first timer Subrata Mitra is mind blowing, the camera had never been more inconspicuous yet so much in notice. The sequences where the kids follow the sweet-vendor followed by a dirty street mongrel, and their reflection visible on the water, is simply stupefying. The sequence in which Apu and Durga see the train for the first time is brilliant, tall grasses with the color of the sky merging with the tip of the grasses, and then the black smoke in the background with the loud chugs of the approaching trains. The art direction by Bansi Chandragupta is accurate, I have been to villages and have visited households with the similar economic background and haven’t yet found any fallacy in the household goods they portrayed. The obscenely huge trunks of feeble materials, the small brass containers, Chunibala’s torn blanket with funny squarish patterns and Sarbojaya’s sari with the thick black borders decorated with beetle leaf shaped embroidery, all of these lend a feeling of completeness and creates together a picture that is astoundingly profound and stimulating for the soul.
The music by Pandit Ravi Shankar, in simple words is just great. He deserves all accolades and with this only score is deserving of all the fame and venerations he is attributed with. The sequence towards the end when Sarbojaya gives a heart shattering news to Harihar, the dialogues are muted and music takes over rapidly adding to the pathos that the visuals and the story had already generated. The background music of Pather Panchali truly does what music is supposed to do, complement the story.
After my lengthy tributes I think it is redundant to say that I thought Pather Panchali to be one of the best movies ever made in the history of cinema. This movie along with Aparajito and Apur Sansar remains the best that Indian cinema has given the world. Calling Pather Panchali “A Movie” may be an insult to the brilliance of Satyajit Ray; this is a painting on celluloid, a song of the road, the ballad from the every place Nischindpur.
Pather Panchali is a director’s movie, where the visuals of the countryside with the meandering roads and the lush fields, the calm waters of the village pond and the disturbing loud chug of the distant train creates an atmosphere which reassures the viewer of the greatness of the director with each of its frame. The movie, like the other Italian neo-realist movies of that time uses non-actors as the main protagonists and portrays the common placed miseries and the little aspirations and desires of people whom we may have come across but never turned and looked when they passed by. Satyajit Ray with his sensitivities which no doubt would have made Tagore proud, captures just that, villagers toiling hard to make the ends meet without loosing hope, stricken with poverty but remaining honest, hungry yet remaining proud. The visuals are enchanting and the music like the flowing river and blowing wind make you sway with them in a pace that’s leisurely racy.
The story is minimalist about a poor Brahmin family in a far off village lost somewhere in the desolate lands of the poverty stricken countryside of Bengal. The head of the family, a middle-aged man named Harihar Ray played by a theater actor named Kanu Banerjee is astounding as a poor man but always hopeful for good things to happen in life. He dreams of being a writer, writing play and dance dramas (palas, a concept which sadly is now obsolete). Karuna Banerjee, who was the director’s friend and had never acted before, plays Harihar’s wife Sarbojaya. She is the perfect housewife with little dreams for her husband, for her daughter and her little son. Like she says in the kitchen, “we will have food twice a day, Durga will get married, Apu will grow up and have a job, what else is required” and to this Harihar answers, “Hobe, Hobe” (It will happen with God’s grace). This scene, with the innocence of the characters and the plight of the people, totally moved me; the important thing being, these people were not portrayed as heroes but as pawns in the hands of fate battling poverty, fighting an war which may have been already lost but still not loosing hope and their head.
Apu (Subir Banerjee) and Durga (Uma Dasgupta) are their children and they are the ones who steal the show with their innocent acting portraying sometimes desire, sometimes an understanding that maybe is the result of their poverty. Durga as a character is amazing, she steals fruits from the near by orchard, which once had belonged to their family, and gives it to her grand aunt, an wizened old woman, who though is ninety and an widow loves the good things in life, a little more chilly, some more salt. She loves her kid brother Apu and acts as a sister, mother and friend and all rolled into one. Apu the central character of the story is a young boy of eight who is a wide-eyed sensitive kid and a favorite of his mother and sister alike. He waits near the door waiting for the sweet-vendor to pass by, and looks longingly at it when he does. This now brings me to Indrin Thakur, an old lady of around eighty years old, played by Chunibala who marvels with her performance. It is surprising to note that, she was found by Satyajit Ray near a brothel, where she was living as a destitute after having been a theater artist long time back. She with her ease and effortless acting is the best thing in the movie and brings her character to life. Her reciting “Hari, take me to the other world” and narrating the ghost stories to the children remain the high points and the sequences I will always carry with me.
Any review of this movie without mentioning the fabulous cinematography and the amazing art direction is seer blasphemy. The cinematography by the first timer Subrata Mitra is mind blowing, the camera had never been more inconspicuous yet so much in notice. The sequences where the kids follow the sweet-vendor followed by a dirty street mongrel, and their reflection visible on the water, is simply stupefying. The sequence in which Apu and Durga see the train for the first time is brilliant, tall grasses with the color of the sky merging with the tip of the grasses, and then the black smoke in the background with the loud chugs of the approaching trains. The art direction by Bansi Chandragupta is accurate, I have been to villages and have visited households with the similar economic background and haven’t yet found any fallacy in the household goods they portrayed. The obscenely huge trunks of feeble materials, the small brass containers, Chunibala’s torn blanket with funny squarish patterns and Sarbojaya’s sari with the thick black borders decorated with beetle leaf shaped embroidery, all of these lend a feeling of completeness and creates together a picture that is astoundingly profound and stimulating for the soul.
The music by Pandit Ravi Shankar, in simple words is just great. He deserves all accolades and with this only score is deserving of all the fame and venerations he is attributed with. The sequence towards the end when Sarbojaya gives a heart shattering news to Harihar, the dialogues are muted and music takes over rapidly adding to the pathos that the visuals and the story had already generated. The background music of Pather Panchali truly does what music is supposed to do, complement the story.
After my lengthy tributes I think it is redundant to say that I thought Pather Panchali to be one of the best movies ever made in the history of cinema. This movie along with Aparajito and Apur Sansar remains the best that Indian cinema has given the world. Calling Pather Panchali “A Movie” may be an insult to the brilliance of Satyajit Ray; this is a painting on celluloid, a song of the road, the ballad from the every place Nischindpur.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Epitaph for the lost love
Note: This is a song which I loved to hear. Tried my hands at translating this song, a very difficult job and nowhere near the original. Please read the translation only if you are not conversant in Hindi.
Info of the song:
Lyricist :Rajendra Krishna
Singer :Talat Mehmood
Music Director :Madan mohan
Movie :Dekh Kabira Roya - 1957
Video:
Lyrics:
Hum se aaya na gaya, tum se bulaya na gaya
Faasla pyar me donon se mitaya na gaya.
Woh ghadi yaad hai, Jab tum se mulakaat hui,
Ek ishaara hua, do haath badhe, baat hui
Dekhte dekhte, din dhal gaya aur raat hui
Woh shama aaj talak dil se bhulaya na gaya
Kya khabar thi, ke mile hain toh bichadne ke liye
Kismatain apni banayi hai, bigadne ke liye
Pyar ka baagh lagaya tha, ujadne ke liye
Iss tarah ujda ke phir, humse basaya na gaya
Yaad rah jaati hai aur waqt gujar jaata hai
Phool khilta bhi hai, aur khil ke bikhar jaata hai
Sab chale jaate hain, kab dard-e-jigar jaata hai,
Daag jo tu ne diya, dil se mitaya na gaya.
Translation:
Not me to make an effort to return, not you to make the plead
The rift that so grew, could not be without an effort breached
Recall the time, when for the first time we met,
A glint, two hands touched and had our hearts did confabulate
But with time's passage, the sun had made way for the dark
The spark that had been ignited then, had left its lasting mark.
Who it was who knew that we had met only to part
Only to crush our destinies we had them so lovingly carved
The garden nurtured with our love was created just to be ruined
No amount of love can have these wrecks ever redeemed
Only the memories remain but time passes on,
The flower blooms and then wilts, after its moment under the sun.
Every one departs someday, but will these heartburns ever digress
The scar of the departed's pain is so difficult for my heart to efface.
Info of the song:
Lyricist :Rajendra Krishna
Singer :Talat Mehmood
Music Director :Madan mohan
Movie :Dekh Kabira Roya - 1957
Video:
Lyrics:
Hum se aaya na gaya, tum se bulaya na gaya
Faasla pyar me donon se mitaya na gaya.
Woh ghadi yaad hai, Jab tum se mulakaat hui,
Ek ishaara hua, do haath badhe, baat hui
Dekhte dekhte, din dhal gaya aur raat hui
Woh shama aaj talak dil se bhulaya na gaya
Kya khabar thi, ke mile hain toh bichadne ke liye
Kismatain apni banayi hai, bigadne ke liye
Pyar ka baagh lagaya tha, ujadne ke liye
Iss tarah ujda ke phir, humse basaya na gaya
Yaad rah jaati hai aur waqt gujar jaata hai
Phool khilta bhi hai, aur khil ke bikhar jaata hai
Sab chale jaate hain, kab dard-e-jigar jaata hai,
Daag jo tu ne diya, dil se mitaya na gaya.
Translation:
Not me to make an effort to return, not you to make the plead
The rift that so grew, could not be without an effort breached
Recall the time, when for the first time we met,
A glint, two hands touched and had our hearts did confabulate
But with time's passage, the sun had made way for the dark
The spark that had been ignited then, had left its lasting mark.
Who it was who knew that we had met only to part
Only to crush our destinies we had them so lovingly carved
The garden nurtured with our love was created just to be ruined
No amount of love can have these wrecks ever redeemed
Only the memories remain but time passes on,
The flower blooms and then wilts, after its moment under the sun.
Every one departs someday, but will these heartburns ever digress
The scar of the departed's pain is so difficult for my heart to efface.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Compromise
This Poem is in Hindi and is from the movie ArdhaSatya.. An excellent poem which you have to sit and ponder... Have tried my hands at translating this for guys not so well versed in Hindi ...
Chakravyuh mein ghusne se pehle
kaun tha main aur kaisa tha main
yeh mujhe yaad hi na rahe
Chakravyuh mein ghusne ke baad
mere aur chakravyuh ke beech sirf jaan leva nikatta thi
is ka mujhe patha hi na chaley
Chakravyuh se bahar nikalney par main mukt ho jaun bhaley hi.
phir bhi chakravyuh ke rachna mein farak hi nahin padega
Marun ya maarun
maara jauun ya jaan se maar dun
iska faisla kabhi na ho paayega
soya hua aadmi jab neend se utkhar chalna shuru karta hai
tab sapnon ka sansar usey dubara dikhai dega kya
us roshni mei,jo nirnay ki roshni hai
sab kuch samaan hoga kya?
ek paldey mei napunsakta
dushray paldey par paarush
aur theek tarazu ke beech ke kaantey par
ArdhaSatya
Translation(Plain):
Before entering the field with encircling enemies
Who was I and How was I,
This I hope I dont still remember
After entering the field of enemies
There was a deathly nearness between them and me
This i hope I dont even get to know
Once I get I out of this field of madness
I may be freed of the world
but there will no difference in the field of enemies itself
If I die or I kill,
If I am killed or destroy another life
That decission can never be taken
A sleeping man after waking up when starts walking
then will he be able to see the world of dreams
In that light, which is the light of deliverance
will everything be weighed equal
In one balance there is cowardice on the other there is valour
and lies exactly in the middle of the scale is ...
Half Truth
Chakravyuh mein ghusne se pehle
kaun tha main aur kaisa tha main
yeh mujhe yaad hi na rahe
Chakravyuh mein ghusne ke baad
mere aur chakravyuh ke beech sirf jaan leva nikatta thi
is ka mujhe patha hi na chaley
Chakravyuh se bahar nikalney par main mukt ho jaun bhaley hi.
phir bhi chakravyuh ke rachna mein farak hi nahin padega
Marun ya maarun
maara jauun ya jaan se maar dun
iska faisla kabhi na ho paayega
soya hua aadmi jab neend se utkhar chalna shuru karta hai
tab sapnon ka sansar usey dubara dikhai dega kya
us roshni mei,jo nirnay ki roshni hai
sab kuch samaan hoga kya?
ek paldey mei napunsakta
dushray paldey par paarush
aur theek tarazu ke beech ke kaantey par
ArdhaSatya
Translation(Plain):
Before entering the field with encircling enemies
Who was I and How was I,
This I hope I dont still remember
After entering the field of enemies
There was a deathly nearness between them and me
This i hope I dont even get to know
Once I get I out of this field of madness
I may be freed of the world
but there will no difference in the field of enemies itself
If I die or I kill,
If I am killed or destroy another life
That decission can never be taken
A sleeping man after waking up when starts walking
then will he be able to see the world of dreams
In that light, which is the light of deliverance
will everything be weighed equal
In one balance there is cowardice on the other there is valour
and lies exactly in the middle of the scale is ...
Half Truth
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Going gaga over DDLJ
Shahukh "The King" Khan took his dulhaniya from the clutches of the strict and heartless patriarch and proved to the world that love can win over any obstacle in the world. That was 10 years ago, and still i hear millions crooning about the same shahrukh hamming "Simran meri hai" with thousands of young girls sighing, clutching their hearts and waiting for the right guy to show them the dream land. I may sound awestruck by the phenomenon that was DDLJ, but truthfully speaking I am not. I accept, it was a beutifully made movie which had everything to cater to indian taste, Rib tickling comedy, romance in a distant land(far away from the watchful parents), typical punjabi wedding with all pretentious paraphernalia attached, traditions that were upheld, lots of "India being the greatest" stuff, huge amount of rona dhona to appeal to the ladies of the house and lastly the "happy ending", which some one told me is the sole criteria of judging a story or movie.
So now I am facing a basic question, why do we watch movies? What is the one thing that people come to watch movies for? The answer I think, which atleast holds good for 90% Indians is that they want to escape reality. I dont blame them, if for 3 hours, one can be free from the hassles that life burdens us with, then it is worth the 100 bucks we fork out for it. But this escapism comes with a price, the price being the alienation from reality, the price being the dreaming about a ideal present which is non existant, the price being trying to the see the world in black and white when it is always colored with shades of gray.
I am not a humanity hater, always trying to look at the world with black glasses, I am just a one eyed man in the country of the blind and like Nunez, in H.G.Well's story,I am not able to convince the world to look at the misery half the humanity lies in. I know it is pessimistic in just looking at the night and not hoping for the sun to come up, but when you are in scandanavia, isn't it better to prepare for the night than in wating for the sun to shine.
Coming back to movies, I get repelled by those which have nothing to offer but plain senseless chattering and emotions thrown around here and there. I cringe when i hear the king khan croon for Anjali in K2H2 for wasnt he the same guy who was madly in love with his wife a few sceens back.I dont understand the thousands eyes simmering with tears when shahrukh keeps on yapping about how we should we love and respect our parents and i cringe yet again.Why do we like such melodramatic scenes, why do we have to reassure ourselves, our next door neighbours and the whole city and the country to that matter that we are good traditional guys who may drink beer but will never molest any "desi chori in a videshi land", why do we have to keep on shouting that it is all about loving your loved ones, why , why??? No answer.
Now let us compare with movies like hazaron khwaishien aisi, now that movie had a heart, it was about dreams dreamt but not realised, it was about a nation's anguish for the dream that got sour, it is about those thousands hopes that got struck down, it was about one man's rise with his fall and another man's fall with his rise.Movies like this i know paint a picture which is so bleak that u keep on asking is there a way out, it is so dreadfully true that u shiver to think of the same happening to you, but isnt it better to know the ghost of death than always keep dreading the unknown .At this point i may mention matrubhumi which described female infanticide and the inhuman potryal to girls so accurately that i had goosebumps and nightmare. I remember serials like bhanwar which were so closer to the truth that u shiver with the very thought of those kind of people even existing.
But personally i prefer to be scared by the truth than be waiting for the unknown. I dont want to stay in the false hopes that everyone stays happy, only should be careful of the staircase and the villianous aunty(who can no doubt be silenced by mamaji's thaapad). I dont want to wait in the hopes that the father of the girl I love will allow her to elope with me because I am "Saccha in the heart", I dont want to wait in the false hopes that even if Rani dies i can always get kajol my best buddy because my mother, my daughter and allah all three want that.I wanted to tell my friend that life doesnt always have an happy ending, it is not always that kajol marries a widower, it is not always that a father will allow her daughter to elope, it is not always that tuffy gets the bhagwaan's bardaan of delivering letters to the wrong person. How I wish life was like all these feel good movies , how I wish karan johar, Aditya chopra and sooraj barjatya were gods who wrote the script of desyiny, so that the world would have been a big rich family with mighty baarats and tuffy as cupids. How I wish??
So now I am facing a basic question, why do we watch movies? What is the one thing that people come to watch movies for? The answer I think, which atleast holds good for 90% Indians is that they want to escape reality. I dont blame them, if for 3 hours, one can be free from the hassles that life burdens us with, then it is worth the 100 bucks we fork out for it. But this escapism comes with a price, the price being the alienation from reality, the price being the dreaming about a ideal present which is non existant, the price being trying to the see the world in black and white when it is always colored with shades of gray.
I am not a humanity hater, always trying to look at the world with black glasses, I am just a one eyed man in the country of the blind and like Nunez, in H.G.Well's story,I am not able to convince the world to look at the misery half the humanity lies in. I know it is pessimistic in just looking at the night and not hoping for the sun to come up, but when you are in scandanavia, isn't it better to prepare for the night than in wating for the sun to shine.
Coming back to movies, I get repelled by those which have nothing to offer but plain senseless chattering and emotions thrown around here and there. I cringe when i hear the king khan croon for Anjali in K2H2 for wasnt he the same guy who was madly in love with his wife a few sceens back.I dont understand the thousands eyes simmering with tears when shahrukh keeps on yapping about how we should we love and respect our parents and i cringe yet again.Why do we like such melodramatic scenes, why do we have to reassure ourselves, our next door neighbours and the whole city and the country to that matter that we are good traditional guys who may drink beer but will never molest any "desi chori in a videshi land", why do we have to keep on shouting that it is all about loving your loved ones, why , why??? No answer.
Now let us compare with movies like hazaron khwaishien aisi, now that movie had a heart, it was about dreams dreamt but not realised, it was about a nation's anguish for the dream that got sour, it is about those thousands hopes that got struck down, it was about one man's rise with his fall and another man's fall with his rise.Movies like this i know paint a picture which is so bleak that u keep on asking is there a way out, it is so dreadfully true that u shiver to think of the same happening to you, but isnt it better to know the ghost of death than always keep dreading the unknown .At this point i may mention matrubhumi which described female infanticide and the inhuman potryal to girls so accurately that i had goosebumps and nightmare. I remember serials like bhanwar which were so closer to the truth that u shiver with the very thought of those kind of people even existing.
But personally i prefer to be scared by the truth than be waiting for the unknown. I dont want to stay in the false hopes that everyone stays happy, only should be careful of the staircase and the villianous aunty(who can no doubt be silenced by mamaji's thaapad). I dont want to wait in the hopes that the father of the girl I love will allow her to elope with me because I am "Saccha in the heart", I dont want to wait in the false hopes that even if Rani dies i can always get kajol my best buddy because my mother, my daughter and allah all three want that.I wanted to tell my friend that life doesnt always have an happy ending, it is not always that kajol marries a widower, it is not always that a father will allow her daughter to elope, it is not always that tuffy gets the bhagwaan's bardaan of delivering letters to the wrong person. How I wish life was like all these feel good movies , how I wish karan johar, Aditya chopra and sooraj barjatya were gods who wrote the script of desyiny, so that the world would have been a big rich family with mighty baarats and tuffy as cupids. How I wish??
Friday, January 27, 2006
Color Me Saffron
Life is so pleasantly strange, it surprises you every moment, it makes u fall in love with it by giving the boring life so many twists and tangles that untangling yourself is fun and mystery enough.I dont know whats wrong with me that i get so much affected by movies and make me reflect and interospect on these. But I think am any director's dream audiance, who sees the movie once in a theater and then thousand times in his head and then picks up either the pen or the computer to type in what he thinks. Today was another of this rare days and to give a understatement, am affected by what I saw in "Rang de Basanti", a tale of ubiquitos confused youth finally responding to the call of their heart.
The movie made me reflect, how close we are to the characters so ably potrayed, like DJ we dread to face the world and go along following the crowd just living our mundane existance.How much we are like karan, always trying to escape the difficulties, cribbing about everything but not taking any actions to fix it right.How similar are we to aslam, questioning the various ties that are binding us, ties like religion, caste and language.How similar are we to the character atul kulkarni plays, going along with the system, but with ideals and the zeal to make the country a better place. May be we are not simply similar to them may be we are just a amalgation of all these characters.Maybe we are all of them togather, a man with five faces, a man with five people hidden within him, may be it is not Sue who is in search of her revolutionaries, it is us who are searching for ourself. Maybe the movie is all about one persons search for his existance, one person trying to find out what he stands for, maybe it is about one person discovering himself again and again and again.
I cannot point at a portion of the movie which i can identify as things I like. Maybe I liked the movie because I could identify with the cahracters of the movie. I remember the thousand midnight discussions we had in the hostel about what we can do for the country, why we cannot chane the system to make the India that we all can be proud of, why cannot we make a India that our founders had dreamt of, why cannot we make a India that people like azad, Bhagat singh, bismil, ahfaquallah khan and rajguru died for. The thought of a corrupt India make me cringe with shame, it seems sometimes that we are bathing with the tears of these individuals who shed their blood dreaming of eden, an oasis of life but what got created a dark deasert with lizards and venomous snakes with cactii all round which oozed blood when cut upon.
Now i come to a point where I keep on asking, will our life course take the path of the movie too. Will we too come out of our slumber when we are raised from our stupor by something drastic may be a death which needs us to sit back and then try to fix things right. The movie is so correct, we may keep on talking about a revlution but unless we stand up, the words will never be on the canvas. I think it is high time we stand up, take on the establisment and the first step would be to stop being corrupt ourself. Maybe the first thing an individual can do is take a pledge to be honest and not corrupt, maybe a single honest person can turn up the world a better place to live in. Big words, but again I am an Indian, and as vivekananda had once said we Indians as a race belive in talking and not in doing.
The movie is real in some sense when u see instances of your life played on the screen. I was surprised when I saw tears in aamir khan's eyes with the question, Why Ajay?, he never did a bad thing in life, he did everything that a dutiful son, a good friend and a loyal patriot would do, then why him, why did it have to happen to sonia, I have seen this happen, I have had tears in my eyes with similar questions on my lips and i have heard the wilderness whisper, It is to serve a purpose. May be the sole purpose of the flight commanders life was to awaken the five youths. As Sue pointed out, Dj may be physically sleeping but he had just awaken.
Personally, I am still asleep waiting to wake up with a jolt from my deep stupor. There is no escaping the fact, I will have to wake up, or is it that I am already awake but am closing my eyes, feigning sleep to avoid the world and escape the world, but like I said before, u never know when life surprises you.But after I wake up, and figting my battle go back to sleep, I just wish to meet my end, not screaming, not in silence but with smile on my lips, hope in my heart and laughter all around . Amen
The movie made me reflect, how close we are to the characters so ably potrayed, like DJ we dread to face the world and go along following the crowd just living our mundane existance.How much we are like karan, always trying to escape the difficulties, cribbing about everything but not taking any actions to fix it right.How similar are we to aslam, questioning the various ties that are binding us, ties like religion, caste and language.How similar are we to the character atul kulkarni plays, going along with the system, but with ideals and the zeal to make the country a better place. May be we are not simply similar to them may be we are just a amalgation of all these characters.Maybe we are all of them togather, a man with five faces, a man with five people hidden within him, may be it is not Sue who is in search of her revolutionaries, it is us who are searching for ourself. Maybe the movie is all about one persons search for his existance, one person trying to find out what he stands for, maybe it is about one person discovering himself again and again and again.
I cannot point at a portion of the movie which i can identify as things I like. Maybe I liked the movie because I could identify with the cahracters of the movie. I remember the thousand midnight discussions we had in the hostel about what we can do for the country, why we cannot chane the system to make the India that we all can be proud of, why cannot we make a India that our founders had dreamt of, why cannot we make a India that people like azad, Bhagat singh, bismil, ahfaquallah khan and rajguru died for. The thought of a corrupt India make me cringe with shame, it seems sometimes that we are bathing with the tears of these individuals who shed their blood dreaming of eden, an oasis of life but what got created a dark deasert with lizards and venomous snakes with cactii all round which oozed blood when cut upon.
Now i come to a point where I keep on asking, will our life course take the path of the movie too. Will we too come out of our slumber when we are raised from our stupor by something drastic may be a death which needs us to sit back and then try to fix things right. The movie is so correct, we may keep on talking about a revlution but unless we stand up, the words will never be on the canvas. I think it is high time we stand up, take on the establisment and the first step would be to stop being corrupt ourself. Maybe the first thing an individual can do is take a pledge to be honest and not corrupt, maybe a single honest person can turn up the world a better place to live in. Big words, but again I am an Indian, and as vivekananda had once said we Indians as a race belive in talking and not in doing.
The movie is real in some sense when u see instances of your life played on the screen. I was surprised when I saw tears in aamir khan's eyes with the question, Why Ajay?, he never did a bad thing in life, he did everything that a dutiful son, a good friend and a loyal patriot would do, then why him, why did it have to happen to sonia, I have seen this happen, I have had tears in my eyes with similar questions on my lips and i have heard the wilderness whisper, It is to serve a purpose. May be the sole purpose of the flight commanders life was to awaken the five youths. As Sue pointed out, Dj may be physically sleeping but he had just awaken.
Personally, I am still asleep waiting to wake up with a jolt from my deep stupor. There is no escaping the fact, I will have to wake up, or is it that I am already awake but am closing my eyes, feigning sleep to avoid the world and escape the world, but like I said before, u never know when life surprises you.But after I wake up, and figting my battle go back to sleep, I just wish to meet my end, not screaming, not in silence but with smile on my lips, hope in my heart and laughter all around . Amen
Sunday, January 15, 2006
The Wilted Jasmine
I was reading the newspaper when i came across the review for the new movie Kalyug. To give a brief writeup on it it is about a young couple who are caught on video in a hotel making love, the most personal and intimate act a person can do. To continue with the story, these get recorded and is flooded across as soft pornographic material.As obvious the couple get devastated and what happens next is the story the movie is made of but my story is not about the movie but abt the jasmine which blossomed , fragranted the world with the sweet smell and then after some time was torn down by the bitter wind of human callousnes and perverted minds, this story is about the Mysore Mallige.
I dont know anything about the actual story and i dont care about it too. To my mind it was an act of betrayal, an act of extreme devotion on one's part and extreme callousness on the other. My story is about the innocent girl from coorg who got sucked up in this because of extreme un-reciprocted trust on her part and greed and lust on the boy's . I dont know how the CD they made got leaked, i dont know whether to agree to the boys story that it was for personal viewing which got leaked to the public, but what i am fascinated by is the story of that girl, and how was she able to meet the world, if she did.
It is very difficult for anyone who is not an Indian to even comprehend what "Duties" mean for an individual, what "Personal-Image" means for them and what value "Respect" holds for them.I know these are very superficial qualities but this what the pretensious indian mentality is made up of. The girl was in her prime, very pretty, intelligent and bubbly, but one act of foolishness destroyed her whole life. What happens when u are so publicly humilated, what happens when your whole character is ripped in public with thousands roving eyes trying to judge you, what happens when million perverts who watched you get tricked by some rich kids, call u bitch, what happens when those billion so called gentlemen, who have watched u have sex and recreate those scenes everyday in their mind say "Hussies desrve it" .What happens then???
I have no answer, but i have million question again spring up in my mind? Why do these cds get created in the first place, who buys it? Why is human being so beastly that he succumbs to these instincts so much? Why is self control such a matter to smirk at, Why is gandhi's experiment called the doomed project, Why?? If controlling insticts is wrong then what is it that separates us from animals. The question is on the table and answers I have none.
But on a personal note , what right do I have to say something about it, wasn't I one of those 30 guys cramped in front of a 15 inch monitor, seeing each action relishing every moment. Why do I react when i was one of the pervert who paid 10 bucks to see it. I ask myself this question but find no answer from the deep. My eyes are shut again, the heart has stopped pounding as if silent to escape from itself, the body stiff as dead and the mind bellowing with prayers for forgiveness but the jasmine remain wilted, the fragnance has been long lost, the flower has been long trampled on, and the mysore mallige remain asleep to the world. For her own good???
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