One moment more :

The pain of death's farewell grows dim,
The pain of life's farewell stays new.
Since you were exiled to jiangnan
- plague land - i've had no news of you.

Proving how much you're in my thoughts,
Old friend, you've come into my dreams,
I thought you still were in the law's
Tight net - but you've grown wings, it seems.
-Vikram seth,Three Chinese poets

Movies are my panacea I think or may be it's mania is the diesease that I suffer from. Watching some movie or the other and thinking about it is the only activity that I enjoy, I think. A few days before, at arnd 1 in the Night I started watching Mili, not that I hadnt seen it before , but I enjoy watching it. Its a movie which instills hope(Something I dont belive in), a movie which though in the same lines as of Anand is so brilliantly different with its adaptation. Amitabh with his controlled potrayal of the debauched and hurt son and Jaya with her ebulliant self were both brilliant. I simply adored the movie when I saw it for the first time and still adore it everytime I watch it.

Most parts of the movie moved me, but I keep on thinking about one thing as in Why did Amitabh have to propose and marry Jaya when he knew that she was terminally ill. What did that union procure, a month or two togather, the slow but painful acceptance that you are slowly loosing the person you love to death, some more memories to struggle with. I kept on thinking about why do people try to continue with a relationship when there is no future to it, when all that can come out of it is hurt, pain and nothing but memories which may keep on haunting one for like ever.

I was talking to a friend when he started talking about death and how we all wish to prolong the moment of the final passing. So true I thought, A person is not dead till he is dead and if he is not dead, he is alive, so it is not stupid when one keeps on wishing for the dead person to hold onto his life. What about a relationship then, isnt a relation also like life, then why not try to hold on to the relation just a moment more before letting go, just trying to hold on to the person before the relation lies broken never to be mended.

Some say it is better for the parting to be blunt, a moment and everything gone but I cannot but disagree. Death or Separation, sudden or lingering cannot bring anything but some morose despair, a terrible shock and another life defunct. The difference being, only in separation, the body breathes. If it is lingering atleast you can prepare for the destined, atleast you can have some more moments togather, atleast you have some more experiences, some more life,some more joy, some more memories. As days pass, the inevitable may happen, some candles may be stubbed out, some ships just hanging around may leave for their destination, I may remain standing alone but atleast I would have a moment more.

One more moment and all that it is.